This here Cactusville cowboy is a mighty fine mixture of strength, stamina and stupidity. Since he was a baby, Dan was surely destined to be a cowboy, with his six-shooter water pistols, ten-gallon baby bonnet and matchin' TWELVE-gallon nappy, spurs on his booties an' his horse-drawn pram.

As he grew up he grew stronger, cos of the cow-pies cooked up by his Aunt Aggie. Not even Dan knows the secret recipe (though ah reckon one of the ingredients might just be cow).

At school, Dan broke records in gym class for bein' strongest, fastest an' fittest. He also broke the gym class an' most of the school buildin' when his skippin' started an earthquake an' his divin' created a tidal wave.

Dan's been around since the first edition of "The Dandy", December 4th 1937. When reminded of this, Dan said, "Gosh! That makes me at least 30 years old... Nope, 107... er... or maybe 42... erm..." Which shows that maths just ain't his strong point.

Anyone wonderin' what the "Desperate" stands for in "Desperate Dan"? When Dan started, he was a desperado, a kinda outlaw (though he's a mite friendlier now). So you can all stop wonderin'... an' you can stop makin' up your own jokes, too!

Since he left what was left of the school, Dan's had lots of jobs, though none ever last long. His latest was with the Cactusville Lawn Mower Corporation, testin' their strongest mowers against Dan's chin stubble. The mowers ended up bust, just like the Corporation, which is no mower... er... no more!

Dan's best friend is his Dawg, the hardiest hound around. Between them, they aim to make the Wild West a whole lot wilder!